Beating About the Bush

(Published Saturday, 24 January 2009)

We shall miss former US President George W. Bush. He was a real character: wickedly funny, legendarily foolish, fastly shoe-ducking. The words ‘legendarily’ and ‘fastly’ as used here will fit in very well with what is now known as Bushism: a neologism that refers to a number of peculiar words, phrases, pronunciations, malapropisms, spoonerisms and semantic or linguistic errors that have occurred in the public speaking of former US President George W. Bush. The term has become part of popular folklore and is the basis of a number of websites and published books. Without beating about the Bush, let’s enjoy a serving of Bushisms as Bush enjoys in Texas. All spellings are as are.

General

· “They misunderestimated me.” (Bentonville, Ark., Nov. 6, 2000)

· “There’s an old saying in Tennessee — I know it’s in Texas, probably in Tennessee — that says, fool me once, shame on — shame on you. Fool me — you can’t get fooled again.” (Nashville, Tenn., Sept. 17, 2002)

· “Families is where our nation finds hope, where wings take dream.” (LaCrosse, Wis., Oct. 18, 2000)

· “I know the human being and fish can coexist peacefully.” (Saginaw, Mich., Sept. 29, 2000)

· “Before I arrived in President, During I arrived in President.” (December 1, 2008)

· “I want to thank my friend, Senator Bill Frist, for joining us today. He married a Texas girl, I want you to know. Karyn is with us. A West Texas girl, just like me.” (Nashville, Tennessee, May 27, 2004)

· “I’m telling you there’s an enemy that would like to attack America, Americans, again. There just is. That’s the reality of the world. And I wish him all the very best.” (White House, Washington, D.C., Jan. 12, 2009)

· “It’s clearly a budget. It’s got a lot of numbers in it.” (May 5, 2000)

Foreign Affairs

· “Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we.” (Washington, D.C., Aug. 5, 2004)

· “And they have no disregard for human life.” (Describing the brutality of Afghan fighters, Washington, D.C., July 15, 2008)

· “There’s no question that the minute I got elected, the storm clouds on the horizon were getting nearly directly overhead.” (Washington D.C., May 11, 2001)

· “The war on terror involves Saddam Hussein because of the nature of Saddam Hussein, the history of Saddam Hussein, and his willingness to terrorise himself.” (Grand Rapids, Michigan, January 29, 2003)

· “Free societies are hopeful societies. And free societies will be allies against these hateful few who have no conscience, who kill at the whim of a hat.” (Washington, D.C., Sept. 17, 2004)

· “The best way to defeat this enemy in the long run is to deny them the recruiting tools, that are and—and recruiterments made possible by resentment.” (November 2007)

 Economics

· “I know how hard it is for you to put food on your family.” (Greater Nashua, N.H., Jan. 27, 2000)

· “I understand small business growth. I was one.” (New York Daily News, February 19, 2000)

 Education

· “Rarely is the questioned asked: Is our children learning?” (Florence, S.C., Jan. 11, 2000)

· “As yesterday’s positive report card shows, childrens do learn when standards are high and results are measured.” (George W. Bush, on the No Child Left Behind Act, Washington, D.C., Sept. 26, 2007)

· “You teach a child to read, and he or her will be able to pass a literacy test.” (Townsend, Tennessee, 21 February, 2001)

 And finally...

· “One of the things important about history is to remember the true history.” (George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., June 6, 2008)

· “I’ll be long gone before some smart person ever figures out what happened inside this Oval Office.” (George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., May 12, 2008)

 We today conclude with excerpts from an Open Letter written to newly sworn-in US President Barak Hussein Obama by Dr. Mahathir Mohamad, former Prime Minister of Malaysia:

 ”Dear Mr. President. I did not vote for you in the Presidential Election because I am Malaysian. But I consider myself one of your constituents because what you do or say will affect me and my country as well. I welcome your promise for change. That is because America and Americans have become the most hated people in the world. Even Europeans dislike your arrogance. May I politely suggest that you also resolve to do the following in pursuit of Change:

1) Stop killing people. The United States is too fond of killing people in order to achieve its objectives.

2) Stop indiscriminate support of Israeli killers with your money and your weapons. The planes and the bombs killing the people of Gaza are from you.

3) Stop applying sanctions against countries which cannot do the same against you.

4) Stop your scientists and researchers from inventing new and more diabolical weapons to kill more people more efficiently.

5) Stop your arms manufacturers from producing them. Stop your sales of arms to the world.

6) Stop trying to democratize all the countries of the world. Democracy may work for the United States but it does not always work for other countries.

7) Stop the casinos which you call financial institutions. Stop hedge funds, derivatives and currency trading.

8) Sign the Kyoto Protocol and other international agreements.

9) Show respect for the United Nations.

If you can do only a few of what I suggest, your embassies will be able to take down the high fences and razor-wire coils that surround them. May I wish you a Happy New Year and a great Presidency.